Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Cracking The Black Socialite Code

I had the most interesting conversation with a male acquaintance recently regarding The Black Social Elite.

He is a major quester - seeking to join the ranks of the Boule and the Guardsmen. And, according to him, he has all of the right stuff in order to become a member.

He belongs to a fraternity, holds two graduate degrees, is cultured, talented, and I'm sure you know the rest. His wife (and partner on the quest) also holds multiple degrees, is in a sorority, blah, blah, blah.

Both he and his wife are Jack and Jill legacies. They live a McMansion in the suburbs, own three foreign cars, have great corporate jobs, 2.5 kids, and a mixed breed designer dog.

By all accounts, they live a fabulous life. But, they are extremely frustrated.

You spite of these 'sparking' credentials, they can't seem to crack The Black Socialite Code. He can't get into the organizations he desires. His wife struggles with 'fitting in' with the uber Black Socialites of their hometown.

And, naturally, they contacted yours truly for some guidance and help.

I shared with this couple that most Black Socialites of any quality stock could care less about your shiny accoutrements (i.e. your car, house size, number of degrees, etc.).

It's nice but it won't necessarily get you 'in.'

What is more important is whether or not you are preceived as a 'good fit' with them and their crowd. Being a 'good fit' is highly subjective and is often based on who is the King or QueenPen of the group you are trying to join.

You have a choice, either play the game or re-create the rules by becoming a Socialite machine on your own. Either way, you will need a strategy and you must be patient.

If it sounds way too much like how high school cliques function, I have news for you.

Lean close to the screen so that I can whisper in your ear - I don't want everybody to hear.

Life is like one big high school. Most of us will spend our lives trying to 'fit in.' And we never really 'graduate' until we get comfortable in our own skin and walk with confidence.

We'll talk more about 'Cracking The Socialite Code' in the upcoming months.