I’ve spent some time this spring and summer thinking about the motivation behind unwarranted hatefulness. Human nature never ceases to amaze me so I often found myself dumbfounded by this phenomenon.
A few months ago, I had an epiphany – with assistance from some of my friends. Some people just enjoy being hateful. It is a pleasurable, euphoric experience for them that I will never understand. It’s like a hobby that requires a great deal of thought and vigor.
I discovered that there are individuals who enjoy creating epic and mythical sagas in their minds of good (themselves) versus evil (their target) where their lil’ ole nasty (and often invalid) opinions reign supreme regardless of any fact based metrics. Others use various tools at their disposal (a la the Internet, email, blogs, Twitter, and social networking sites) to lash out at people they may or may not know.
And, if one blogs on a topic that is considered (how shall I say this?) controversial, then the sparks can really fly. I’ll use myself as an example as I am sometimes the target of such hatefulness.
Hatefulness toward me and this blog ebbs and flows depending on what the mainstream media is yapping about. So up jumps a recent magazine article about The Obamas’ possible vacation spot and all of the sudden here we go with some people having hissy fit about The Black Socialite.
The Black Elite is a highly contentious topic among Black people. We are the only group of folks who are still so passionate about this issue that whenever it is raised, necks crane, eyes roll, spit flies, and voices increase in volume. So, the fact that I positively highlight this unique part of Black America on this blog makes some people really angry.
Having a hard time wrapping your brain around this?
Think of it this way. The hateful among us actually really care about what is covered here. If they didn’t, I wouldn’t keep hearing from them nor would my blog continue to be a topic of discussion for them.
Still don’t quite understand? Well, let’s take a quick journey into the minds and motivations of some of members of the ‘angry tribe.’ These statements reflect a paraphrased mash-up of emails and conversations I have had during my almost 2 years of blogging here:
“I believe actualizing ‘The American Dream’ includes entry into whatever I desire whenever I desire it if simply I work hard and live a good life – especially if the ‘it’ (read: social club, sorority, fraternity, vacation resort) is ‘for Black people.’ “
“If Mr or Mrs X is not a member of your group, then you must be full of #*&%!”
“What gives you the right to tell me I’m not good enough?!”
“I wish you would (fall off a cliff, die, crawl into a hole, etc.). I hate your blog.”
‘I want to believe in the mythos of the Black American monolithic even though I know it’s not true.’
‘The idea of having class divisions among the descendents of North American slaves seems really unfair and improper.’
“This blog is a snobby waste of time.”
“It is too painful for me to fathom that at one time gaining entry into The Black Elite was sometimes controlled by a series of phenomena and/or phenotype that was beyond my control.”
“I am an unsuccessful aspirant with all of the qualifications to join, so why not me? It must be because that group/club is color struck and snobbish.’
“I believe in the urban legends of modern day colorism and ridiculous snobbery fueled by the ‘whisper down the lane’ practices of some in the mainstream press and the Internet to justify why ‘these people’ were invited to the proverbial table and others weren’t.”
“I heard that you have to have lots of material things that I can’t afford in order to join.”
Close your mouth. I know you are speechless.
Here are some simple facts. We have a vocal vanguard within the ranks of the so called Black Elite who are still out there inflicting pain on some people. They often quoted in the media and they run around making outlandish statements about class, color, and ‘pedigree.’ They are a small but loud minority who had to claw their way to the manor and are somewhat vicious in their treatment of others. So, some of the notes I receive are anecdotes from people who have encountered some loon attempting to assert some weird ‘superiority’ complex over others to make themselves feel good.
They are NOT representative of the majority of the so called Black Elite. Most of the people featured on this blog go to work each day, volunteer tons of hours for community service, and leverage their resources for causes that matter to them.
Conversely, there are some people who are covert aspirants who will never admit to themselves or to others that they would love to hold membership in some of the organizations highlighted on this blog. Their hatefulness toward this blog and me is merely a reflection of their lack of self esteem and their frustration on the quest - so I don’t take it personally.
It is what it is.
So good people, if you are member of the so called Black Elite or aspire to join, you may have to brace yourself for the sometimes bumpy ride of unwarranted hatefulness.
Just remember that you owe no one an explanation or justification about your lifestyle choices and decisions.